Yes is the answer. In just one week we will have a household full of 3 precious little girls under the age of 3. Sometimes I feel like I could be recorded in the Guinness book of world records. Some days I am full of panic, worry, feelings of inadequacy, and complete and utter fear. It is so easy to be swept up in the emotions and play the "what if" game and panic about how little time I am going to have to devote to any ONE thing or person. Questions of doubt arise- can I do this? Am I going to fail daily? Am I going to be a walking freak show everywhere I go? Am I going to be able to withstand this physically/mentally/emotionally with a somewhat absent/time consumed husband? Will my emotions stay in tact? Why must I be 600 miles away from any family members that can help share the love? Why, why, why? These thoughts have started to cross my mind daily, if not hourly as my time with what we consider "normal life" is ticking. Usually a few tears, deep breaths, and a change of heart is what it takes to get me back up again. Because this I know...
Although I could have never described my current lifestyle/family the way that it is- God has had His perfect plan from before I was even a glimmer in my parents eyes. As I was growing up dreaming of getting married, having my family and children (spaced out age wise of course) God was writing a different story- growing me, molding me, and preparing me in ways that I still have not discovered yet. God has blessed our marriage and our family more than words can say- why oh why would I think for one second that He would give up on me now? I trust in God. I trust He will hold me together. I trust He will provide all my needs and the needs of each of my sweet girls and husband. I trust that He has us doing this "alone" only so that we will realize we are not alone. Every single step, every single day, hour, month, year we are doing "life" God is holding our hand, asking us to cling to Him. Never once have we been alone- God is faithful.
Being a mommy is my passion. I absolutely and totally am head over heels with my job and role in life as my sweet babies. I would not trade my occupation for anything. I absolutely swoon over each and every milestone met, challenge overcome, and joy explored by my girls. It seems like because these things are true that mommy hood would be a breeze! Oh the contrary. It is hard. Harder than anything I could imagine up in my mind. Being on the beckon call at ALL times to feed, clean, entertain, influence, teach and protect 2 tiny precious children. But now- it will be 3 precious tiny children. What an honor. What a joy. What a task. I can rejoice in the fact that as difficult as it may be- the joy that comes from these trials is WAY more overwhelming than the hard parts. God definitely knew what He was doing when He created the crazy balance of motherhood mayhem.
We are so thankful and so anxious to meet Hannah. There is such a delight and peace that a 3rd baby brings to me as a mama. No worry about "how to" do things. No stress of the little things...just pure enjoyment of their newborn-ness. Brad and I actually have been giddy over the thought of having her in her bassinet, squeaking awake during the nights to nurse, and sleeping on our chest. There is nothing like it. As well as nothing like being so sleep deprived and tired you can barely see straight. But it is worth it. And we are more than thankful to have this opportunity. And we know that we know that we KNOW God has us right in His perfect plan. With that- we will simply do our best. Do our best to find a way to glorify God for the wonderful gifts of GIRLS that He has given us to care for.
This is a song that Brad came home telling me about (since I don't get normal radio listening time each day). It strikes such a chord with me- whatever it is that I am doing- being a mommy, etc.- I should be doing it for the Glory of God. That's my plan, my prayer, and my purpose. Take a listen :)
Steven Curtis Chapman - Do Everything Lyrics
You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do