Monday, October 17, 2011

3 under 3...for me??

Yes is the answer. In just one week we will have a household full of 3 precious little girls under the age of 3. Sometimes I feel like I could be recorded in the Guinness book of world records. Some days I am full of panic, worry, feelings of inadequacy, and complete and utter fear. It is so easy to be swept up in the emotions and play the "what if" game and panic about how little time I am going to have to devote to any ONE thing or person. Questions of doubt arise- can I do this? Am I going to fail daily? Am I going to be a walking freak show everywhere I go? Am I going to be able to withstand this physically/mentally/emotionally with a somewhat absent/time consumed husband? Will my emotions stay in tact? Why must I be 600 miles away from any family members that can help share the love? Why, why, why? These thoughts have started to cross my mind daily, if not hourly as my time with what we consider "normal life" is ticking. Usually a few tears, deep breaths, and a change of heart is what it takes to get me back up again. Because this I know...

Although I could have never described my current lifestyle/family the way that it is- God has had His perfect plan from before I was even a glimmer in my parents eyes. As I was growing up dreaming of getting married, having my family and children (spaced out age wise of course) God was writing a different story- growing me, molding me, and preparing me in ways that I still have not discovered yet. God has blessed our marriage and our family more than words can say- why oh why would I think for one second that He would give up on me now? I trust in God. I trust He will hold me together. I trust He will provide all my needs and the needs of each of my sweet girls and husband. I trust that He has us doing this "alone" only so that we will realize we are not alone. Every single step, every single day, hour, month, year we are doing "life" God is holding our hand, asking us to cling to Him. Never once have we been alone- God is faithful.

Being a mommy is my passion. I absolutely and totally am head over heels with my job and role in life as my sweet babies. I would not trade my occupation for anything. I absolutely swoon over each and every milestone met, challenge overcome, and joy explored by my girls. It seems like because these things are true that mommy hood would be a breeze! Oh the contrary. It is hard. Harder than anything I could imagine up in my mind. Being on the beckon call at ALL times to feed, clean, entertain, influence, teach and protect 2 tiny precious children. But now- it will be 3 precious tiny children. What an honor. What a joy. What a task. I can rejoice in the fact that as difficult as it may be- the joy that comes from these trials is WAY more overwhelming than the hard parts. God definitely knew what He was doing when He created the crazy balance of motherhood mayhem.

We are so thankful and so anxious to meet Hannah. There is such a delight and peace that a 3rd baby brings to me as a mama. No worry about "how to" do things. No stress of the little things...just pure enjoyment of their newborn-ness. Brad and I actually have been giddy over the thought of having her in her bassinet, squeaking awake during the nights to nurse, and sleeping on our chest. There is nothing like it. As well as nothing like being so sleep deprived and tired you can barely see straight. But it is worth it. And we are more than thankful to have this opportunity. And we know that we know that we KNOW God has us right in His perfect plan. With that- we will simply do our best. Do our best to find a way to glorify God for the wonderful gifts of GIRLS that He has given us to care for.

This is a song that Brad came home telling me about (since I don't get normal radio listening time each day). It strikes such a chord with me- whatever it is that I am doing- being a mommy, etc.- I should be doing it for the Glory of God. That's my plan, my prayer, and my purpose.  Take a listen :)

Steven Curtis Chapman - Do Everything Lyrics

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor

for the 15th time today

Matching up socks and sweeping up lost

Cheerios that got away

You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips

and head out the door

And while I may not know you I bet I know you

Wonder sometimes does it matter at all

Well let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you

Cause He made you to do

Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face

And tell the story of grace

With every move that you make

And every little thing you do


  1. Hi Tessa,

    I have been reading your blog here and there since before Emily was born. I was a student at Berry and your dad was one of my professors. I think I came across your blog through his Facebook page one day. Anyway, I have so enjoyed watching your little ones grow and I'm excited for your family to continue to grow! What an exciting time!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, fears, and joys. What a tremendous blessing each child is, yet I can imagine having 3 under 3 is quite a daunting responsibility at the same time.

    As I read your post today I thought that you might find some encouragement from a post I just wrote...

    If you can make the time, I highly recommend reading "One Thousand Gifts." It changed my life and I am so glad that I read the book when my daughter is young. Babyhood/toddlerhood can be overwhelming (especially when your husband is in the medical field (in my case, firefighter/paramedic) and gone all of the time), but when things are filtered through the lens of God's gifts life becomes full of joy.

    Congratulations! Thank you for sharing, as always!


  2. Oh friend. I needed to read this...thank you so much for sharing that. I love you and am praying for you!

  3. That's my sweet one! We and others think and pray for you many times each day. We're looking forward to Hannah, too!

  4. Aaaaaaand you just made me cry :) You have so much wisdom and grace. Love you, Tessa!

  5. Hi Tessa,

    My name is Eleanor Thompson Shaifer. My dad and your deceased grandfather, J. K. Wakefield, were first cousins. I have been following your blog for about a year now, just happened upon it while doing some family research. I have been in contact with your dad and your grandmother while doing some of my research on the family. I read your post today and wanted you to know that, though we are not close family, we are family and that if you ever need someone, I am only a phone call away. I live in Pine Bluff, but work in Little Rock. My email is


  6. We are praying for you, Hannah, Brad and the 2 big sisters each and every day. You are a blessing with this blog. Keep it up. And sleep when your little ones sleep. There will always be housework but only little girls for such a short time. We love you...