Thursday, August 16, 2012

A stinky shoe

I'm not writing about Hannah's shoes again. Promise.

Purpose of this post-
To remember this moment in time- the trials, circumstances, and simple joys
and MOST of all- how faithful God is to give me just what I need in my moment of need. And it doesn't hurt to document how the Lord of the Universe has a sense of humor.

Last night I laid in bed and had a bit of a pity party for myself. My half asleep husband was next to me responding mostly with "uh huhs". I was feeling like a stinky old shoe. What? Yep. That was my description word of choice at 11:45 last night.

Definition of a stinky old shoe: feeling un kept, un-pampered, and un attractive. Gray hair, un cut/styled, un colored hair. Un polished nails and toenails. Old make up routines.

I didn't even attempt to think on the UN skinny part of me last night. Just the rationale that most women had regular upkeep routines with their appearance. And I don't. For a few reasons...lack of financial means being the first, and then lack of time coming in close to second. I do not usually like to complain about our financial struggles because we are SO blessed. BUT I am human, and every now and then the superficial desires of the flesh (and of being a girl) hit and I get down because right now in our life those luxuries are not realities. And it makes me feel like a stinky old shoe.

Brad promised me I didn't look like a shoe to him. And then fell asleep. He probably dreamed about his brown Merrell's that he has had since his freshman year of college.

Now on to the awesome part. I snuck away with my bible this morning, which just so happened to be into the hopes of having a few quiet, uninterrupted moments to gleam some wisdom for the word of God. And it happened. Amazingly quick, and undeniably from the Lord. I have been trying to read a Psalm and Proverb each day- correlating to the date. If it's the 1'st, I read chapter 1, if it's the 28th, I read the 28th chapter, etc. As always, I am always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to knowing what day it was today- but I was able to calculate what the date was and read Proverbs 16. Check out these 2 verses struck my right in the middle of my sole...(stinky shoe pun intended)
"How much better it is to get wisdom than gold!
And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver" verse 16
and here is the real kicker...
"A gray head is a crown of glory;
It is found in the way of righteousness."  verse 31

Really Lord? You are going to show me the one verse about gray hair?? Ha. Point taken.

It touched my heart and set my hope back on the things that matter- seeking wisdom and righteousness instead of outward beauty and wealth. I'm reminded that yes, this season of strict budgeting, menu planning down to the penny, extreme resourcefulness and frugality are all creating wisdom and understanding that I will carry with me forever. It also helped me focus on the fact that it doesn't matter what I look like, gray or not, my crown of glory is showing a hard working mommy who makes sure her family has what they need before she even can dream of getting her hair highlighted. Such silly trivial thoughts to most...but reality for me right now. And I don't want to forget. I want to record these moments so that I can gleam wisdom  the rest of my life.

So I'm still not sure if I believe my husband in saying I'm not a stinky shoe...but I do believe that my God doesn't think I am. He doesn't even see my gray hairs...and even if he does...he likes them that way because that's how he made me:)

PS- please know that I am in NO WAY am asking for a hair cut...Caroline has gotten really good with her scissor skills. :)


  1. awesome! well written sweet friend, and such honst reminders of our vulnerabilities and God's faithfulness in ALL things! :) xoxo

  2. great post! I have been having my own pity party about residency life lately...i am over it! :) so this just what I needed to hear. glad y'all are doing well. caroline is so grown! Brad will have to keep the boys away with a stick before long!