This is for all the other moms out there reading. I have found myself pondering a thought over and over again as I go out in public these days. Yesterday as I ran a few errands by myself (Lou was watching the girls) I naturally felt "empty handed." Then the thought crossed my mind again...
"Do random people that I come into contact with know that I am a mom?"
For some reason this thought is so interesting to me and double sided with many different feelings.
Before I go into those feelings...I gut response is this:
I have MOM stamped all over my forehead.
-could be the big minivan I drive.
-could be the tired rings around my eyes.
-could be my unwashed, greasy hair that accompanies the rings around my eyes.
-could be my ancient wardrobe...or the old jeans and sweatshirt that are just "more comfortable" than real clothes.
-could be my muffin top in all my pants. (Look it up if you don't know what that is.)
-could be the diaper, goldfish, and passy that fall out of my purse as I check out anywhere.
-could be the constant glance at my phone to see what time it is and watch my minutes of "away-dom" commence.
-could be that I am usually found in the toy or baby section of every store I enter.
-could be that I want to engage EVERYONE I meet in conversation about my 2 girls if at all possible. I WILL find a way to bring up my little loves.
-could be that I completely ignore other screaming, fit pitching children out in public...like I don't even hear it.
It could be many many many more things. But those were the first obvious ones that hit me.
Brad and I used to talk about how "old" or "young" we looked. We thought it would be neat to ask complete strangers how old they thought we were. We may have done this several times while we were dating. There is something fun about finding out what the public thinks or assumes about you. Well, this is the thought process that I am having about if people know I have children.
Now here is where the different feelings set in. I am so HAPPY that I am a mommy. I love it. I love my sweet girls, I love my mission in life- to be their mommy right now. But there is a tad bit of reminiscing that makes me look back at a time in my life when I was "put together" a bit more. You know, make-up done, hair brushed...maybe even CURLED, new outfits, maybe even a new pair of shoes. A bit on the "slimmer" side, not so tired, accessorized, and able to enjoy shopping for myself, or even for Brad.
I think that a lot of this thought process also has to do with my age. I am starting to feel a little....OLD. Yes, I said it. And all those older will say, you are not old. But bear with me...it's as old as I've ever been.:) I think the wonder about if people "know" I'm a mom may also go along side with my wonder if I can or could pass as a younger woman...such a weird thought. Why do I care if I can look or appear young? Anyway, just an interesting thought process of this tired mommy's life.
Truth is...I'm SO happy that I am a mom. I would wear a T-shirt with their pictures on it each and every time I went out without them (especially since that would mean I didn't have to come up with any other outfit). They are ME. And I am so blessed. Who cares if I don't have gorgeous make up or new shoes. I have 2 little red heads that keep me young.
Have you ever wondered if they know?? Probably not. But now you will. :)